Living frugally doesn’t have to be painful or depriving. In fact, it can be amazingly rewarding!

The best example that I know of is my Godmother, Rosa. She never made a ton of money, yet she was so careful that she did things some wealthy people could never “afford”.

Rosa worked for 30 years at the same place. She told me the only time she didn’t bring her lunch from home was if there was a big celebration at the office. She would bring her lunch in reusable containers. She was “green” way ahead of her time. Rosa believed that throwing away food was as bad as committing a sin, so she made sure she didn’t.

She was a seamstress before she got an office job and could make beautiful clothes and gifts. Her motto was “if it’s not on sale, don’t buy it.”

Rosa always drove a nice car, but nothing too flashy. Her key to that was buying a used car every time she needed a new one. She knew that a car’s value drops significantly the moment you drive it off the lot.

You may think that it sounds tedious to do all those things, but being so careful in her everyday life afforded Rosa the ability to travel and retire comfortably.

She goes to Spain every two years and has traveled many European countries and throughout the United States.

When I asked Rosa if she had any tips on how she sacrificed to get by, she looked at me for a moment and said, “Sacrifice isn’t really sacrifice if what you’re doing brings you joy and what you really want in life.”

I took pause and realized how true that is for money… and for being a mom.

Many of us are spoiled. Two cars, a nice house, fancy clothes, and vacations are all luxuries that we take for granted.

It’s amazing to me how many people can’t tell the difference between wants and needs.

Please stop trying to keep up with the Joneses!

One of my good friends was feeling overwhelmed recently. She works full-time, has kids, and a generally busy schedule.

She was complaining about how she has so little time with the kids, and almost no time to herself. She can’t remember the last time she hung out with a friend or read a book.

Ok, I don’t know about you, but for me having money means nothing if I am not enjoying my life.

Here’s the thing about “Mary”. She and her husband have two nice cars, a great house, fabulous clothes and a few expensive vacations a year.

If they just moderately reduced their indulgences, she could afford to work less. I know not everyone wants to stay home with their kids, but she has actually said she wishes she could.

Actions speak louder than words. We have to be careful what subtle messages we are passing onto our kids. Our every day actions are clear indicators of what is important to us.

Find a way to make more time for them, even if it means putting away your cell phone or laptop for the night.

There will come a time when your kids won’t want to hang out with you. Don’t help that time come any sooner than it has to.

Kids may want more stuff, but what they really need is you.

Trying to pinch pennies can be counter-productive and dangerous.

I have found over the years that cutting corners doesn’t usually work. Here are five things I make sure to maintain to avoid costly repairs or issues down the road:

1. Car Maintenance: Every 3,000 miles or three months I take my minivan to get serviced at the dealer. They do the typical things like change the oil, top off fluids, etc., and they recommend what needs to be replaced. It brings me great peace of mind to get the brakes changed before they start to give out.
2. Pest Control Contract: They come quarterly to examine and treat as needed. Some bugs are just annoying, but termites are serious insects. They can cost you thousands of dollars in damage to your house. Well worth the money if you own a home.
3. Gutter Cleaning Service: We learned the hard way that rain needs to go somewhere and clogged gutters are a recipe for disaster. Many services will come about once a month during the fall, and on request if your gutters fill quickly.
4. Fire and Carbon Monoxide Alarms: Test your alarms weekly and change the batteries when the time changes twice a year.
5. Myself: Yearly physicals, eating well, exercising and getting plenty of beauty rest. Not to mention an occasional spa visit.

After all, if Mama is not taken care of, everyone and everything else can’t be either.

So, start taking care of yourself ladies! It’s THE greatest investment you can make in your family and is sure to bring you worthwhile dividends. It’s good to pinch some pennies, but not the ones you should invest in safety and sanity.

It was May of 1999 and my first daughter was born. I was desperate to find a way to stay home with her, instead of returning to work.

My great friend, Caren, gave me an idea that made all the difference. She suggested ditching the credit cards and using cash in envelopes for each type of expense (food, entertainment, a little personal allowance for each of us, miscellaneous, etc.)

I figured out what I could spend on each category, not what I wanted to spend (big difference!).

I would go to the bank with a check made out to cash and request 5′s, 10′s, and 20′s. I’d get home and divvy up the money to the respective envelopes.

For example, our grocery budget, at the time, was $65 a week (or $260/month). At the top of the envelope, I would write “Groceries $260″.

When I went to the supermarket, I’d write the date and how much I spent, and then how much remained (kind of like a checkbook register). The visual helped me realize how I was doing as the month progressed.

I would try and spend no more than the weekly amount. However, if I did, then I knew the next week I’d have to spend a little less.

Some months, I’d get to the last week and only have ~$40 left. Those weeks, we really made sure to use what we had in the house. We’d eat things like ramen noodles, rice and beans, frozen fruits and vegetables.

We never went hungry, but we did not spend more than we had, period.

Using the envelopes was a fantastic way of controlling our spending. It helped discipline us and kept us on budget. Whenever our spending is getting excessive, I go back to it and it works every time!

In an effort to be healthy and economical, I cook most nights of the week. Unfortunately, in my house, I have a few picky eaters. Especially my two youngest who have the appetites of birds, and zero culinary curiosity.

I read once if a child is hungry enough, they will eat anything in front of them. Ok, great plan.

So, I’ve made sure they were super hungry before I put dinner in front of them.

I told them if they didn’t eat what was there, I was not making a second meal, nor was I going to give them cereal or crackers later on.

Both have called my bluff many times. They refused to eat and they didn’t even bother asking for something else.

Oh well, plan A failed miserably.

I was determined to figure out a way to have them eat healthy, so I came up with Plan B: a weekly chart with meals.

Once a week, we are going to sit down and each kid gets to pick a dinner for one night. The guidelines are that they must include a vegetable and most importantly, that night they are in charge of helping me make the dinner.
I’m convinced that food tastes better if you’ve actually spent your own time making it.

Another guideline will be that everyone has to try the meal. I can’t tell you how many times my kids have claimed they don’t like something when they’ve never even tried it. Not always, but more often than not, they will like it IF they try it.

Feeding your family is not always easy. I’ve learned in motherhood you have to pick your battles.

I am hoping by being a little flexible and creative dinnertime will be one last battle to fight around here.

It is so easy to get caught up in our kids and hectic lives. Going on dates with your husband may seem like another chore on your “to do” list, but finding time for dates is one of the best investments you can make in your marriage.

Not only is it important to spend one-on-one time with him, but going out is good for you and your sanity.

I know money is tight, but much like investing in your 401K, this is your future we are talking about. So here are some cheap date ideas to make sure you have no excuses.

• Check out your local paper for free concerts, movies in the park, etc.
• Find a restaurant that has early bird specials, coupons, and/or BYOB.
• Do something outdoorsy, like going for a walk or taking a hike. Bring a picnic dinner, comfy blanket, wine and some strawberries.
• Check out your local city site for free activities, like gallery nights, museums, etc.
• Dates don’t have to be at night. Take advantage of some daytime discounts by going to a matinee movie or bowling.

Ok, so one of these sounds fun and affordable, but you say you can’t afford to pay a babysitter? Well, then don’t. Ask a family member or good friend. Start a babysitting co-op or swap with a neighbor. You take their kids once a month while they go out, and then they’ll do the same for you.

Once upon a time, it was just you and your husband. And when your kids are grown up, it’ll be just the two of you again. Keeping that spark alive is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself, to each other, and to your kids.

Today, for some reason, my life is perfect. Maybe the stars are all aligned just so or maybe I had a good night’s sleep. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s a wonderful feeling. You know how some days you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Well, today I woke up on the right side of the bed.

The sky seems a little bluer, the birds are chirping a little louder and kissing my kids felt a little sweeter. Some days it is so easy to get caught up in the hassles of our lives that we don’t take the time to enjoy the good parts. It seems like complaining is cool and commiserating over how unfair life is the norm.

Is it uncool to be grateful and happy? If so, I have never wanted to be so uncool in my whole life.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had my share of sadness in my life. Broken hearts, losing my mom, miscarriage, losing my father-in-law, etc.

Any one of those things could be devastating and collectively they could have been paralyzing. And at each of their respective times, they were. What I’ve learned though is that we have a choice. We can’t always pick things like when our parents die. However, we can always choose to see joy in our lives, no matter what our circumstances.

Life is short and going by way too fast for my taste. At 40 years old I have considered having a mid-life crisis. Today, it occurred to me that my mid-life crisis is going to be different than the stereotype. I am not going to buy a new car or get a new hairdo (well, maybe I am), but the real “crisis” is not going to be fixed or cured with a car.

My crisis is the realization that while half my life may indeed be over, the second half has just begun. My glass is half full and I just have to make sure that I do a good job of savoring every sip.

I am beyond grateful for my amazing family and friends. Thanks to y’all for helping me see that my life is indeed, perfect.

Today, more than ever, I am convinced that nothing will ever compete with a mother’s love. I always knew my mom loved me, but could not grasp the depths of that love until I had my own children.

I loved Caity from the moment of conception and that love grew and grew with each passing month of my pregnancy. The day she was born I wept and wept, sobbing in fact. Shawn and Isabel asked if I was still in a lot of pain after a difficult birth. But my tears were not tears of pain. The joy I felt was so overwhelming it could not be expressed anyway other than with tears, buckets of tears.

To see her perfect little hands and feet and the way she looked at me. I knew she recognized me from my voice. If she could talk I think she would have said, “Ah, ha, the voice of that place that protected me, fed me, sang to me and loved me from the inside out.”

And like in my womb, the instinct to nourish, love and protect my daughter has always been fierce.

Recently, Caity had something unfortunate happen to her. She was cut from a school dance team that she was told she would be part of for the entire year. Worse, she was made to stay on the team and essentially be a cheerleader for the rest of the squad.

First, I went to the dance teacher and asked her to allow Caity off the team. She said “no”. Then Shawn and I met with the Assistant Principal and he said “no”.

Shawn and I knew that we were right in our fight for Caity and we weren’t going to stop until she got what she deserved. Lucky for us, the Principal agreed with our concerns and agreed to a schedule change. Not only that, but the dance handbook is being rewritten and even the way the dance program runs is being revised for next year. The thrill of victory….

Normally I hate confrontation, but this was different. I was prepared to do anything to protect my baby. My instincts kicked in like a mama bear protecting her cub in the wild. Or like the woman who protected her baby by blowing a hole through an intruder with her shotgun.

At the end of all this heartache is an incredible life lesson for me and my family. Make sure your children know that you will go to bat for them at all costs. That even though they are kids they should never be bullied into anything that isn’t “right”. To never take “no” for an answer.

I married the most wonderful man in the whole world. I am forever grateful to Shawn for his love and support, but mostly because he has given me four incredible children and the opportunity to learn time and time again, “A mother’s love is an unrivaled force of nature.”

Every year, around the holidays, my family does something charitable. Last year we donated to Toys for Tots and Operation Christmas Child. There is no shortage of ways to give to the needy.

I’ve thought this was a great way to get our kids to learn the spirit of giving. But, after some soul searching, I decided we need to do more. Giving comes in many shapes and sizes, and this year we are going to give not just gifts, but of ourselves.

My hope is that if we serve at an orphanage or homeless shelter, maybe our kids will pause and realize that the way we live is a privilege, and not a right.

This Christmas, the one gift I truly want is for my children to appreciate the good in their lives. The financial comfort of food and shelter are just the tip of the iceberg. They have their health, parents who love them very much, and each other. They have fresh air and water and overall, a wonderful life.

We take these things for granted every single day.

I want them to realize it’s important to share and be generous. Not just with what they have, but with who they are.

The most amazing part is that being generous is almost magical. When you give, you are the one who reaps the rewards.

Watch any two-year-old for a while, and you will see that sharing does not come innately.

Lucky for parents, children are like sponges. They learn how to walk and talk and sing just by mimicking us. Let’s all make giving something our children grow up doing because they lived it every day.

As Gandhi once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Since I got married in 1996, I have been the CFO of our family. The decision was an easy one, since I liked doing bills and budgeting. Shawn, not so much. As a result, naturally, I know everything from how much we have in retirement to how much we pay in taxes each year.

I was shocked when I asked a good friend, recently, how much they paid in property taxes and she had no idea. She couldn’t even begin to guess. No offense, to anyone like this friend of mine, but c’mon ladies, get a clue. I don’t care if your husband makes more money or even if he makes all the money.

You need to be involved in your family’s finances. Plain and simple. Chances are you are involved in the everyday spending for your family. Groceries, toys, school supplies, kids’ activities, etc. If you can handle the balancing act of being a mom, you are savvy enough to know about your investments and savings.

In fact, it’s downright reckless for you to be in the dark. For example, if you knew you had little money in retirement or excessive credit card debt, you’d know to tighten the purse strings. That’s nice to help out every PTO and Girl Scout fundraiser, but pay yourself first. Your future is non-negotiable.

Hopefully, you can honestly say that you know where your money is going every month. If not, it’s time for a sit down with hubby. Tell him from now on, you want to have a monthly meeting to go over finances.

Not only will you learn how much you have, you also can brainstorm together about ways to spend less, save more and eventually meet all your goals.